a large cup of coffee feels great on a cold damp day

The last time I wrote, it felt like summer. Not so much anymore. It's been raining all week, with no return of the sun anticipated until Saturday. Ugh! The downturn in the weather coincided nicely with my post-practicum return to teaching though. If I didn't have to get up at 6:30 to get ready for work, I think I would be staying in bed all day. I haven't been doing much work on my thesis this week. I have been spending all my time grading assignments. I returned a batch yesterday, so today is going to be a thesis day. Tomorrow, I get 27 more assignments, which I hope to turn around by Tuesday. Next Wednesday, 23 more will come my way. I'm slow getting on the go today though... But the work will happen. I've pulled out all the files I need to get started on putting together the first three chapters. Some of it reads like garbage now, but some of it is much better than I had remembered. I want to send a draft of something to Lee by Monday. I've gotten into the habit of sending him weekly updates on Mondays to let him know how what I accomplished during the previous week and what my goals for the upcoming week are. I think it's helping me create more manageable goals as well as feel somewhat accountable. I have spent my whole life in school, most of it as a student and some of it as a teacher. I'm so conditioned to think of school work in terms of "how much it's worth" -- not how much it's worth to my life, but how much it's worth in terms of grades. I can't help but wonder how much faster I would get my thesis done if there were fixed deadlines and grades. What if each chapter was worth something like 15% of the total grade for the thesis? I know better than to care about grades, but I have to say after being trained to work for grades for 25 years, and seeing how grades motivate my own students, I can't help but think it would just be easier if I got a grade for my thesis. When will I stop making excuses and just finish this thing? Let's see if I can do that... Starting.... NOW!